Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
