Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
