Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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