The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
