Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
