if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
