This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
