im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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