well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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