Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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