Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
