I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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