i just google imaged poop.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
