yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
