how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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