we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
