my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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