The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
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