Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
This is classic penis vs brain.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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