The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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