he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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