Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
