he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
