The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It's official drugs can't kill me
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
