Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
