They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
