airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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