And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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