I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
