i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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