yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
