So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
