When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
smell my finger.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
