Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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