It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
