I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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