Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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