i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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