And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
