Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
