Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
