my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Quick, to the slutcave!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
