Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
