kristin has been a bad kristin
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
