I just saw a hot homeless man
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
