bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
