Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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