margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
