Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
