i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
