so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Enjoy the penises
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
