he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
